Absentee.

I haven't been around on the interwebs lately because of some things going on in my life. Right now, I have an intern job with the state that I am very excited about. I've been getting up at 4 AM to be at work by 5 AM and I'm at work until 2 or 3 PM usually. I've been caught of the whirlwind of my rough and painful break up, the happiness of being employed again, the fast pace of summer school, and the stress that comes with signing up for classes in the fall.

I've been trying to find myself lately. I feel like I'm having this weird crisis that I don't understand who I am anymore really. It's like I'm here, I'm me, I'm taking steps to get from point a to point b in my life, but it's like I'm a puppet who is being moved by someone else's hand. Life is confusing. Growing up is hard. Moving on is harder. My ex and I had a thing again for a while and I felt so strange. It was like we were together, but we were not allowed to really love each other like we used to. It's like when there's snow outside and you breathe on a window. The heat from your breath blurs your vision outside, but you know there's still something there. We were both hoping something was still there when the condensation evaporated, but there wasn't. We were both just empty and on either side of the window looking in.

I've been hiking a lot. I've been drinking a lot. I've been cleaning skulls and wishing there was more paleo-stuff going on in my life at the moment. I have the museum every Saturday, but that's been it for a long time.

I wish I could have something that pointed which way I should go with my life. They should make life compasses. Those would be handy.