Fat.

Dear Mothers and Future Mothers,

Do not call your daughter fat or big or bulky or any of the other synonyms associated with that terrible three letter word. You will tear your daughter down more than you can ever repair. You can't take hurtful things like that back. Your daughter is beautiful no matter her size, mental capacity, strengths, or weaknesses. You should not pass judgement on something that you know nothing about. A million different things could be going on that she is trying to cope with. That word could be the final straw for her. You could be the cause of an eating disorder. You could be the reason that she feels so out of place in public. You could be the reason that she spends 6 hours a day at the gym in hopes of pleasing you. Not all of us are 5'7" and 115 lbs at 22. I sure am not. But I can lift my own body weight, hike for hours on end, and climb a mountain. This body is a good body and can do everything I want it to do. If there is ever a day that it needs to do more, I will train and work hard to obtain what I want. Until then, do not call me fat or bulky or anything else. All it does is hurt.

Ivy.

Ivy's story is a long one. She's saved me and I've saved her. These photos were the first ones I ever took of her. I wanted to get a dog, and so my mom and I went to a shelter to look for one. I was originally looking for a Rottweiler or German Shepard to go hiking with me and for protection when hiking. I walked through several rooms filled with dogs, but didn't really see any of them that would make good hiking dogs. They were too hyper or just continued to growl at me or bark as soon as we walked into the rooms.

We were about to leave when we walked into the last air conditioned building. The last pen had this little red ball of fuzz curled up in the corner. I whistled at her, and these black ears popped up and brown eyes just looked at me and then quickly looked away. We asked to see her, and the workers took her out to a pen where I took these photos. She wouldn't look us in the eyes and did not want to play at all. She laid down by me and just closed her eyes and enjoyed the sun. She was sweet, but I was worried that her low energy would mean that she did not want to hike.

My mom and I left to go to another shelter, and all the while, this dog with the same hair color as me was on my mind. We went back to get her. I couldn't leave her there. The workers there said that she had been flagged for biting and growling. I couldn't imagine this timid little dog with no energy even trying to bite anything. I said I'd take her still, and they told me that if she attacks our other dogs that they are not responsible. We were nervous, but we took her home. She was excited to be in the car and that's when her ears first perked up and I could tell that she was excited to leave.

The moment she saw the backyard she just took off running. We introduced her to the other dogs (my mom's and sister's dogs) and she just wanted to play. This little dog that wanted to just sleep suddenly wanted to play and run. She was so happy about life and that we had chosen her.

The happiness ended the next day.

I woke up and heard Ivy sneezing and choking by the end of my bed. She had slept all night, and was now violently ill. We took her to the vet. She had kennel cough and canine influenza. The staff at the shelter had refused to vaccinate her because she tried to bite someone when she was first brought in and was terrified. Later we found out she had not been spayed either. Basically, they had thrown her in a pen and waited for her to die. I thought that I was going to lose this little girl. She ended up in isolation for two weeks and my sister's dog had got sick as well during the process. Silhouette (my sister's dog) is older and we didn't think she was going to make it. Luckily she did and is still here today. After all of the tears and worry, we brought Ivy home, and she has been here ever since.

 She is my hiking buddy and has been through these past year and a half of ups and downs with me. She came with me when I moved in with my ex and has been on many, many hiking trips with me. She has been there when I'm crying and lays next to me, and she knows when I am happy. I love my babydog.

If you want to get a dog/cat/any pet, please consider adopting. This wonderful little girl was in a shelter and she is so very, very loving.

The Weird and Wonderful.

Hey, everyone, if you’re interested in taxidermy and you’re in the UK, you’re in luck. A friend of mine (that I met over Instagram nonetheless!) has just opened his flagship shop in Accrington. His shop, The Weird and Wonderful, has an absolutely amazing selection of taxidermy as well as human medical specimens and wet specimens. All of his specimens are top quality, and if I was anywhere close to the UK I’d be in his shop every single day. He has some rather reasonable skulls available also, so if you’re in the area, feel free to stop by and say hello to him! Norman is a great guy and extremely passionate about getting his items from legitimate, sustainable sources. Check out his store. He definitely deserves your business!
The Weird and Wonderful can be found here.
As well as on Instagram.
And Facebook as well!

Valley of Fire

If you guys ever get the chance, head out to Valley of Fire State Park (located in Nevada). I had a wonderful day there yesterday with some of my friends. It's been a weekend of drinking, partying, hiking, and sleeping. Our day was cut short due to flash flooding, but being out at VoF again was wonderful. Hopefully this weekend will bring more adventures. I'm trying to get in as many trips as possible before school starts. Here's some other things that have happened this week.

Closure.

This week has been crazy. Work went pretty well last week, except for trying to pull back onto the road with people flying past me at 70+ MPH on their way to Arizona. That was mildly terrifying. Working as a biological intern this summer has been a wonderful experience, but my goodness, some parts of it is scary. I love seeing the sunrises in the mornings too. I think that makes getting up super early worth it.

Today I woke up and realized that I haven't thought about my ex in a long time. I haven't wondered where he is or what he's doing in at least a week, and it was the best feeling. I felt light and free and happy because of this thought. There was so much negativity in that situation, and it is good to finally feel the closure I needed to move away from it. We have been apart since March, and it was the first time that I truly felt spiritually free from feeling bad about leaving the relationship. And it wasn't a bad thing for me to leave the relationship. Everything in life can become stagnant if there is not fresh life flowing into it every once in a while. We did not go on adventures. We did not stay up late with one another. Hell, we didn't even go to the movies together after 2.5 years. The passion and spirit of the relationship was gone long ago, and I spent far too long trying to rekindle a fire that had not even had cinders burning in so very long. There is a difference between giving up and knowing you've had enough.

It's interesting to feel like my life is finally falling into place. I feel like this job has rekindled my willingness to get through school and finally get into the field. I feel the freedom to do as I please for the first time in ages. I have been hiking and spending as much time as I can outside lately. If you are going through a really bad break up, just realize that things will get better. It may not be today, and it may not be tomorrow, but one day you will wake up and you will feel better.

Hiking.

This is what I've been up to lately. What've you all been doing this summer?

Messy.

My life has been a little messy lately. I've been working 40 hours a week at my internship which has led me to be completely exhausted most of the time. I've been hiking a lot on the weekends in hopes of moving out of this funk that I've been in for several months. I've also started my aerial silks classes, which I am extremely fond of.

My personal life has been a little bit messed up lately. I'm dealing with trying to figure out what would be best for me in my current situation, as well as what would be the smartest decision over all. These past few months have thrown me for quite a loop, and I've been trying to recover ever since. I just feel extremely fragile at the moment, and that if the wrong thing is said, I'll crack so easily. There's just so much going on that I wish I could talk about, but I don't know how to find the right words.

Hopefully things will be better soon.