When I was little, I never dreamed of my wedding day. I wasn't one of those little girls who played dress up and thought about marrying a prince. I wanted to play with dinosaurs and explore outside all day. Baby dolls used to scare me, and quite frankly, they still do. I think it has something to do with my fear of ventriloquist dolls. A lot of kids thought I was strange when I was younger, because I wanted to play with the boys instead of the girls because they got the cooler toys and were allowed to come home with the knees in their jeans ripped from running around on the playground.
Now, at twenty two years old, I feel like I am at an impasse. Many people around me have children or are getting married, and I just feel as if that is not the thing for me, and it probably will never be. Yes, by now I have thought about a wedding and life after I have a family, but I have not thought about settling down. Don't get me wrong- I love kids, but I feel like my life is going to be about adventure. It is going to be about teaching the public and instilling a love of science into the hearts of children. The idea of having a child right now scares me to death. I cannot imagine being responsible for something so little and helpless when I feel so little and helpless a lot of the time. I am not saying that someone should not want to have kids or get married; if that's the route you want for yourself, that's awesome. However, I do not believe that is what I am here to do. Instead of being pulled towards wanting a family, the mountains call to me, and I feel as if I must go. Instead of thinking about getting married, my work whispers in my ears.
At twenty two, you get a lot of that "Oh, when are you going to get married? When are you going to settle down? You guys are going to have kids soon!" stuff when you've been in a long relationship. You do not have to listen to it. This is your life, and you are allowed to live it the way that you want to. The societal pressure sucks, I know, but you do not have to start thinking about a family in your twenties or ever if you don't want to!
If you want to explore, explore.
If you want to travel, travel.
If you want to get married, do so.
If you want to have kids, do so.
Just don't ever do anything for the wrong reasons.
I wholeheartedly agree. I don't want marriage or children, either. My reasons are a little different, starting from the fact that I don't believe in saying "I do" forever (and if I'm not going to say it forever then I migth as well not say it at all) to the fact that the mere idea of pregnancy is disturbing to me. I think it might qualify as a phobia. But yeah, that's me.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. I think this is a beautiful post, you know. Because we should have the freedom to make this choice without anyone questioning why, or calling us selfish for it. Because I don't know about you, but I've been called selfish a lot, for not wanting children. Though I can't say I've been questioned about this a lot... maybe it's a cultural thing, but at twenty-one, no one's asking me about children yet. I'm just the one who makes sure to point out "hey don't expect any from me, because I don't want them". Reactions are usually on the condescending side, "oh you'll grow out of that eventually", but like yourself... I think I have another calling and children aren't really a part of it. Thank you for sharing!
xx
Here here! You go, lady! And yes, I have been called selfish too. It's a little ridiculous if you ask me. I'm twenty two and it has already started. However, I did just get out of a 3.5 year relationship where the pressure was on to get married/have kids and it stressed me out like no tomorrow.
DeleteThanks for your comment, lovely!